Dr. Toast’s Amazing World of Toast

Another groundbreaking toast couture item from Archie McPhee - the Toast Wallet! “Keep your bread in bread.”

Wow. From Archie McPhee: “Toast is great, but it’s hard to keep in your pocket. So what do you do when you crave the warm comfort of toast but don’t want to deal with the crumbs? You pull out your Inflatable Toast, blow it up and admire its realistic toasty goodness! Each soft vinyl slice of toast is 6″ tall and has a standard inflation valve.” Get yours today!

If you’re going to play with your food, you should play to WIN. And with this item, you can handily defeat all of your “slow” friends, while savoring the taste of victory. Literally! Because you get to eat the toast! Get it??!

Yes, it’s a refillable toast-shaped post-it note dispenser. What more could you possibly ask for in life?

The modern toaster takes an average of 141 seconds to make toast.  I personally like to make use of this time to close my eyes, breathe deeply of the gently wafting aroma, perhaps compose a new toast haiku or two.  But if you’re the busy high-powered executive type for whom an extra 90 seconds means just enough time to cancel the office Christmas party or to fire an underperforming subordinate or two, this Turbo Toaster boasts toast in under a minute by blowing superheated air onto that bewildered slice from two directions at once.  Then you can gobble down your toast and conquer the world!  Huzzah!

By now I’m sure most of you are familiar with that great Heywood Banks song, “Yeah Toast!” Well, what you may not know is that way back in 1984, a band by the name of The Lemmings wrote their own slightly darker song about toast. Listen!

“You say you love me. You need me. You like toast
But I watch your movements and I can see that you lie
I’m with you. I watch you. I notice you.
Now I know that you don’t like toast at all…

read more…

Behold a short animation that uses naught but toasted bread to tell a tale. A tale of a little glistening pink cube named Spam. But why toast? Because the authors (somewhat dubiously) claim it to be “Spam’s closest friend.”

Apparently there’s another “Toast” out there, but this one doesn’t hold an Advanced Degree ™ like I do - it’s Mr. Toast! Mr. Toast’s friends include a space-traveling slice of bacon and an alcoholic carrot. The plucky little guy even has a blog and a store, and is available in plush form!  Be sure to catch Mr. Toast on his USA Tour!

The House of Toast is celebrating its 13th year of business! Their development of proprietary technology such as the Toast-O-Matic XR-17 Deluxe Toasting Command Station, secret powdered toast re-hydration techniques, and their focus on principle-centered values have made them a worldwide leader in bread-based products. As if that weren’t enough, in demonstrating their excellent corporate citizenship, they have raised over $248,000 for Toast Intolerance Relief, and sponsored the House of Toast Curling Team at the International Restaurant Owners Curling Championship. Dr. Toast offers his best wishes for 13 more years of House of Toast!

Here’s how it works.  You send them money and they put your name (or slogan, or whatever you like) on a piece of toast and post it up on the internets for all the world to wonder at.  All proceeds go to charity!  www.yournameontoast.com