At first I thought this was some auto-generated spam blog, but this is the real deal – RedToasterGuide.com is the blog of someone who just really, really loves red toasters:

“To start with, there has been a lot of hype about red toasters in recent times. However, it’s not just red toasters, but also, red juicers, red kettles, red blenders and several other appliances. The world, it seems, is going red! I’ve been receiving a lot of red related appliance questions, so I wasn’t surprised at the toaster question. Well, I have to agree that the color, red, signifies a certain vitality that stands out in any place or on any object it’s used. So, to those who are also wondering whether a red toaster is a good choice, yes, it is. It will certainly add to the aesthetics of your home.” – [RedToasterGuide.com]

From our friends at the Grain Foods Foundation comes an interactive art gallery that lets you create your own designs on virtual toast: http://www.breadartproject.com

This sad tale from My Cardboard Life:

My good disciple Timmy ‘Twang’ Lowndes of Northern Ireland offers: “A Spiritual contemplation of all things toasted. Let us take time this day to celebrate all that can be placed within the sacramental toaster. Be it bread or crumpet, dark or light, we praise all that is warm and butter covered. Behold All Ye That Enter The Seventh Apocalyptic Church Of the Toaster, thee shall visit our revered prophet Dr. Toast.” Join now at Facebook.com!

I think this is an art project, but I’m not totally sure. It’s a celebration of the neurotic attention to precision that we sometimes lack in our brunch ritual. Shown below: “002 |12.3 mm , tool for precise bread slicing”

The brilliant Garfield Minus Garfield features classic Garfield cartoons that have been edited to remove the feline protagonist. The results are fascinating and wonderful, as you can see in the panel below.

Artist Joe Alterio has a project called Robots and Monsters, wherein he will create an illustrated robot or monster based on the three words you provide him. He then donates his $50 fee to the EFF (“like ACLU with computers”), and you get to keep the picture. Here’s one of my favorites: “Cute, bulldog, toast”. You can view the whole menagerie on Flickr.

Amy pointed me to this item on Valleywag: “A friend of an animator laid off from a recently imploded East Bay videogames startup writes to pimp the newly unemployed buddy’s latest venture: selling toast on eBay. But not just any toast — it’s toast that will be lovingly sculpted into the shape of each of America’s 50 great states. First up? Texas. You laugh now, but you won’t think it’s such a terrible idea when the recession has you out on the street and your options underwater.”

From the Breakfast Institute, the research division of MrBreakfast.com, comes this exhaustive list of ways to enjoy toast. Have you considered cranberry-jalapeno jam? Or artichoke dip, or pimento cheese spread, or tangy lime butter, or sauteed mushrooms and chives, or brie with maple syrup, or homemade vanilla sugar spread? Check out all 326!

FilmThreat.com reviews this 10-minute gem from Neverthought Films:

“The Toaster That Toasted The Golden Toast” actually isn’t as serious a film as the name implies, which is a pretty telling statement.

In this absurd 10-minute short by writer/director/producer Danny Bourque (a University of New Orleans student filmmaker), two slackers stumble upon a magical toaster while shopping in a thrift store. The toaster, which has the power to turn any bread, muffin or bagel into gold, is the store’s prized possession – it was not intended for purchase.

The guys who acquired the toaster, upon realizing their good fortune, immediately begin buying bulk quantities of white bread. The irritated shopkeeper discovers it was sold by accident and sends out a devastating pair of henchmen (one kung fu master, one sumo wrestler) to reclaim it.

The jewel of the movie is a silly chase scene and dramatic rooftop fight sequence. While certainly not the only rooftop fight scene in motion picture history, the climax in “The Toaster That Toasted The Golden Toast” may in fact be the only one that prominently involves a toaster in the action. It’s a wonderfully shot scene, full of quick cuts and epic brawling that would make Chuck Norris proud.

The film even drops a lesson at the end as the shopkeeper, a petite but powerful woman, reminds her rivals that with great power comes great responsibility.

Bizarre? Sure. Funny? Yep. And it goes well with butter, margarine or jam.